Growing up as a first generation Asian American, I would say that my life has always been pretty okay, compared to other minorities. My parents immigrated from Taiwan in the 80’s, and my brother and I were born here in the United States. I never really thought of myself as different, I knew that I had different physical features and that my parents were not from America, but that was about it. It never crossed my mind that I wasn’t like the other kids at my school, I mean, I speak the same language and I live in the same town and I like the same toys, what’s so odd about me? Nonetheless, I’ve grown up with racial stereotyping, and though it was never directly in my face, I know it was always there. Tiny microaggressions have always surrounded me, a term I had no knowledge of until recently.
A microaggression is essentially a form of discrimination that is meant to be harmless, but still has the affect of a directly informed stereotype. For example, a common one all non-white races experience is someone asking them, “Where are you really from?” Technically, I am American. I am of Asian heritage, but I am an American. I was born here. But what the question really assumes is, “Where are you really from, because I can tell you’re not white?”
Though the question they ask is not meant to discriminate or offend me in any way, it is still secretly disguising a hurtful assumption that I am not American even though I was born and raised in this society and culture. Microaggressions are a difficult situation, because the person never intends to hurt or stereotype.
My first real encounter of racism was 8th grade, when I was 13 years old. I was in math class, and our graded tests were being handed back. I sat next to the kid who was considered the class clown of the school, and everyone loved him and his humor. This is probably why I brushed his comment off, because I knew it was in his nature to make jokes about everything and that his intentions were never to isolate or make me feel like the odd one out. I had gotten a low A, and he had gotten a higher A. He said, “Wow! I did better than Erica! I did better than an Asian!”
Looking back at that moment today, four years later, I’m wondering how differently I would’ve reacted if it had happened to me a week ago.
As I mentioned before, the stereotypes of my race are nowhere near as harsh as those of some other races. Being Asian generally means I’m “smart” or “good at math” or that I “play violin” and “am going to get into Stanford or Harvard.” You’ve heard all of these before, and you’re probably thinking, what’s so bad about being called smart?
The problem is that it’s a stereotype. Making judgments solely based off of someone’s race is still racism, no matter what that assumption may be. Most people are under the impression that racism always appears in aggressive forms, however that is not true in any shape or form. It’s like microaggressions; they’re still stereotyping, even though it’s not in a directly hurtful manner. This is the most important thing to know when talking about and understanding racism, because racism is making unfair intuitions on people based on their race. Nowhere in the definition does it say that the impression has to be negative.
Sure, I am Asian, but when people automatically assume I’m good at math, it hurts me a little on the inside. Math is not my strongest subject, and I struggle with it sometimes, so in a way it’s shameful when these “good” stereotypes are applied to me. I feel like a failure to my race. The judgement you make on a person may be based on a majority count, which is understandable and completely logical, but sometimes that’s not the way to assume something; solely based off of a majority count. I am not a child prodigy, I am not a straight A student, and I am definitely not “good at math.” But when you assume I am, I feel really, really embarrassed.
Here is where the media comes in, again. When you think of Muslims or Hispanics, you can only see them as terrorists and rapists and drug smugglers because that’s all the media shows. You see all the criminals, but rarely do you ever see people of these races doing good things being publicized. Now, this is where the stereotypes kick in and people start making rash judgments based off of the actions of a few people. In the media you hear that successful Asian kids all have tiger moms, which is not true. Just because I’m Asian doesn’t mean my parents make me study for 6 hours straight and play violin for 12 hours on weekends or whatever. My parents are the exact opposite of tiger parents, and while they do want good grades (let’s be real here, what parents don’t push their kids to do well in school?) they are not the “typical” Asian parents. Whatever highly publicized story we read is going to influence the way you think about certain things, and this isn’t just about racism. We often get sucked into the media and its power with a narrow mind.
Yes, some Asians are super smart. Yes, tiger parents exist. Yes, a lot of Asians play violin. But that doesn’t mean all of them do. Stop making these judgments towards a person because of their race (or any part of their identity) because, well, it’s racism. It’s not a compliment to be assumed as smart because I am Chinese, the power behind that stereotype is extremely stressful towards people who don’t believe they are like the “typical” Asian. Think about it. Think about the stereotypes your own race presents, and then think about the stereotypes you are not. Would you like to be judged with that stereotype, even though you’re not? I know for a fact I wouldn’t.
~
E.L.
The Enigmatic Catharsis of an Idiosyncratic Girl 